Joan Rivers Show
March 24, 1991
Host: Joan Rivers
Joan: Now, if I ask you to give me a list of some of the musical groups from the late 60's, you would probably include my next group of guests. With hits like Hair, Indian Lake, their climb to fame was quick. But, they didn't stay there, something happen. Here to talk about their family, their break-up and their reuniting the group (John: boo hoo) after 20 years. Now don't take it so personally. The Cowsills. Paul, John, Susan, and Bob. It's nice having you all here.
Paul: Can we talk?
Susan: Can we talk?
Bob: For a talk show, this is great. (picking up candy)
Joan: Hey, what the hell.
John: Free food !
Joan: It's free food.
John: Free food.
Joan: Now what happen. Why did you go away? Tell me everything. I didn't know you'd gone away.
Paul: Gone away, you mean for the last 20 years.
Susan: Why did this band break-up 20 years ago? Well, I'll tell you Joan. It's like this. You have a family. You have seven kids in the family, right? As they get older the oldest one goes to high school, goes to college, gets a job, and leaves ….. goes to high school, get yazayazara. Well we didn't do that because we were all in business together. And we stayed together way beyond the natural point of grown boys and girls and moms and dads all staying in the same house. And that's really what happen.
Bob: They were uneducated and didn't go to high school, so --
Susan: It was just time to move.
Paul: And also they didn't really like my wife or my kids, and I was like--
Susan: No no
Paul: And then there was John and ...
Susan: I love my niece very much but not in my bed with me. It just got too small.
Joan: The Partridge Family was based on your family.
Bob: (singing) We think we love you
Paul: I think it's kind of interesting that it was based on our family but we were able to ahead, you know, and kind of not do it, because they wanted Shirley Jones to be our Mom and we already had a Mom in place and ready to go.
John: (doing his British accent) I want Joan Rivers to do the Mom thing
Susan: If Joan does it, we'll reconsider.
Joan: Now, where is your mother now?
Joan: Oh OK so she's not singing with you.
Paul: Naw, not today
Susan: She's in rock and roll heaven. She's hanging out with Roy and ...
Bob: But she's going to help Art with the mix.
Joan: Now what happen to your Dad. Didn't you father, like, rule the roost?
Joan: You hear these terrible stories. I hope you don't get offended.
Joan: You hear these stories, your father ruled the roost, your father was the domineering one and that's close ---
Bob: ??? Crosby
Paul: No not really.
Susan: Dad's a great guy. He did what he had to do with seven wild Indians and that's all it was.
Paul: Yeah, I really think it was a matter of that. If we were going to lead the normal life and go off to school at seven in the morning and not see anybody for twelve hours and come home, Dad would have come home for dinner. "Hi kids, good to see ya" and it would have been. But we're getting up at 4 in the morning and who wants to get up at 3 to catch the limo.
John: It's really hard working together and living together and speaking amongst one another.
Susan: Can I say--
Joan: Yes, yes
Susan: We love our Dad and he loves us.
Paul: It's cool.
Susan: I don't know what the heck was going on.
Paul: In fact I talked to him this morning and he said, "Look you guys, you're going on the show, please don't say anything about me."
Joan: And we didn't.
Paul: Ooops sorry mike.
Joan: Now - this is - this is - just in case, you know - in case - we have ever precaution here.
Joan: Now what made you decide to get back together. Are you rich?
Everyone: No !!
Susan: I got this for $25 (pointing to her shirt)
Paul: She got that for twenty five, I got this (pointing to his tie) for my wife for Mother's Day. And ...
Joan: You got that for your wife?
Paul: Yeah. Oh don't tell the IRS, but I bought this for her and I take it to wear cuz I can't afford it.
Joan: You made 30 million dollars !!
John: We invested our money in cement surgery.
Joan: Cement surgery?
John: It would last longer, but it didn't catch on.
Bob: Sorry Art.
Susan: Want to know what happen to the money honey? We spent it. I had bikes.
Joan: 30 million dollars?
Paul: Naaaa it wasn't 30 million dollars.
Susan: I'll tell you what happen. We were from Rhode Island, all of us. My Dad was in the Navy for 25 years. We wanted to be in a rock and roll band. He said, "I'll do my best." He did his best. We had a great run. We had a great time. And...
Joan: But you should have something left of 30 million.
Paul: At least a house. I think it was more like 10. And then when I was 15. I mean we're living, we have an 18 hole golf course.
Susan: We had a Grand Prix and a Thunderbird.
Paul: There's a quick mill right there. I had a brand new car.
Susan: He's got a Firebird. We had a good time.
Paul: You know, we just had everything.
Paul: We had the best.
Joan: So what happen?
Joan: When the 70's came. Did you lose the car? Did you lose the golf course?
Paul: Well I got drafted when I was 19. My draft number was 2. So I had to give up the car.
Susan: I'm fine though.
Joan: Oh, I know you're fine. I'm just saying did - you've gone through a lot !!
Susan: Bad investments. We didn't know business. They knew - they saw us coming a mile away.
Paul: Me and John are bank robbers.
Joan: Why are performers so dumb?
John: Stupid, stupid, stupid
Bob: Stupid, that's OK
Joan: Barry Manilow sat here and told me
John: But we don't think we are. We think we're smart.
Joan: But we're not. Barry Manilow told me that he ended up with $16,000 after all those years.
Joan: And these are...
John: We can still pay to eat hamburger
Paul: I have a theory on that. And we're smart if someone is going to ask us to harmonize. We can do that. Those other dudes - the Madison Ave guys - the schisters and histers - they're smart cuz they go, "Yeah, we know what to do with their money." It's like put it in this pocket and it's like going to Vegas. OK I got a hundred dollars here and fifty here and I'll put my winnings in here and when this is empty, I'm out of here. Then it's the same thing.
Joan: It's not just your story, it's many, many others.
Paul: Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs, Tommy James and the Shondells. Hi Tommy! Hi Sam!!
Joan: Do you have groupies?
John: My wife is at home and she my main groupie and my little angel baby is my other groupie.
Joan: But is there any other groupies?
Susan: Yeah we have fans.
Bob: Yes we have fans. There's a fan club.
Susan: We have people who appreciate our old and new music.
John: Joan I've seen you through the airport, walking with your set of groupies. And your little fufu.
Joan: My dog?
John: And it's hard to see except you know it's you cuz of the dog. It's like riding on the shoulders.
Joan: Yes. Sometimes I wear him as a hat. A barking hat.
Paul: Actually you know I did your sound. When you were in Florida with Helen and Jeff and I was their guy.
John: Well enough of Jeff, back to us.
Paul: Oh no, I want to get back to Joan.
Joan: What about old songs, new songs. What about nostalgia? Are you scared they'll just label you as nostalgia?
Susan: Not at all. We're an entirely new band. We ---
Bob: If they come in with nostalgia on their minds, they leave thinking 90's and not 60's. That's the best way to put it.
Joan: Right, right
Bob: And that's always a challenge for us.
Paul: I think fortunately for us we were seven, nine, twelve, fifteen when we started this whole jamboree and now, you know, I mean I look in a mirror and I go, "Gee you shouldn't be doing rock and roll." But I look at Susan and I go, "Now she SHOULD be doing rock and roll. And she needs my help, so I'm with her."
Susan: Yeah We're a whole new band, Joan, whole new band. What do you call ---
Joan: Are you all related or is there outsider in the band?
John: We got a bass player and his name is Bobby Gianetti. He's Italian and he make a heck of a hero sandwich.
Paul: We are all brothers and sisters.
Joan: All brothers and sisters and you're going to sing. We'll go to commercial OK? I'm just so thrilled to have you here.
Paul: We're so thrilled We'll thrilled to be here!!!
Susan: Thanks for the hotel room.
John: But can we talk tonight. Yeeeoooowwww
Joan: We'll be right back with The Cowsills and they'll perform their new song for us.
Joan: Please welcome back The Cowsills performing their new song Cross that line
Bob: One Two Three Four
Song: Cross That Line
Joan: Terrific, thank you, fabulous - We'll be right back