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A few early stocking stuffers as we hit December:
* Oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood, as Eric Burdon and the Animals put it 40 years ago.
A very nice lady called here and wanted to know why I hate Christmas. To the contrary, in fact I usually enjoy the season.
But as I wrote last week, why can't we wait until we've digested the turkey and stuffing before we're force-fed the December holiday?
Perhaps it's time to order some new business cards: "Jim Gillis, Defender of Thanksgiving."
* And it's never too early to think about stringing together some loud-colored lights outside the house, to offset the tyranny of the local "white-lights only" policy.
* Though I must admit, the white lights look great when you're crossing the Pell Bridge.
But why do we have to have a bland Christmas?
* If I'm getting up at 4 a.m. to go Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving, they'd better be selling Jaguars for $3,000.
* And nothing quite says "Season's Greetings" these days like a bunch of knuckleheads fighting over sale items in shopping malls. Merry Fistmas!
* Something tells me it's going to take a bit of work to cheer up Guy Dufault this holiday season.
* Speaking of political types, I asked last week whatever became of Eddie Beard. This week, the former housepainter-turned-congressman called to say he is doing well. Beard, who served from 1974-80, retired from a city job in Providence, lives in Warwick and enjoys babysitting his grandkids.
* And if you need further evidence of how small Rhode Island can be, Vinny Paz, in the news for declaring bankruptcy, filmed a movie this past spring at Flo's in Middletown.
The person composing the soundtrack? The still-missing Barry Cowsill.
* As horrible as Tuesday's car crash was at "The Wave" statue, we easily could be talking about a larger tragedy.
If this happened on a warm Saturday night in July, it would have been a national story.
* Item: Former Dallas Cowboys star Michael Irvin, found with a crack pipe in his car, told cops he was holding onto it for a friend. Hey, who wouldn't?
* It doesn't get a whole lot better than the Charlie Brown Christmas special, if only for the cool Vince Guaraldi music.
* You know the world has gotten a way from you a bit when a big event is Bill Gates sitting down in stores with fellow techno-geeks to whoop it up about the new Xbox. Kind of makes you nostalgic for the days when moms duked it out for the last Cabbage Patch doll.
* The season always makes me a little sad to realize that Billy Weston is no longer here to perform with Matt Quinn and others in the annual holiday concert at Kay Chapel.
* And then there's the reader who wants to know if I meant it when I wrote that Lou Monte's "Dominic the Donkey" is the greatest piece of music ever recorded.
Why would you have even a thread of doubt?
* Now that we know where Eddie Beard is, whatever happened to Richard Lorber, the former Cadillac dealer who surprisingly emerged to take on John Chafee for the 1976 U.S. Senate race?
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