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Barry Cowsill's girlfriend recalls the love of her life
by Marilyn Bellemore
January 13, 2006
Newport This Week
Newport, Rhode Island

Lisette

******* ** ******* says she and Barry Cowsill were destined to meet and fall in love. They both came from well-known Newport families and, according to Lisette, shared high intelligence and low self-esteem.

NEWPORT - Petite, blue-eyed ******* ***** ******* , 42, wears a single earring, cut in the shape of a crescent-shaped moon and made from a Newport bridge token. To many people, it is nothing special, but to her it is something very special indeed.

***** *******'s boyfriend mailed it to her last February while she was living in California.

"Please share this with me," reads the letter that accompanied it, scrawled in black marker. "After all, we are a New Port. Mine's on a safety pin. Love and love and love. B.C."

B.C. is Barry Cowsill, 51, of the hit '60s group, The Cowsills, whose death was confirmed last week. Medical officials say he drowned in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans.

"Everybody still had a little bit of hope that he was alive. Although when the holidays passed and no one had heard from him ..." said ***** *******, shaking her head in a candid interview.

She met Cowsill in September 2003 at a concert at the Newport Yachting Center, where they shared a microphone.

"I was mesmerized," recalled ***** *******. "He had a personal magnetism. He was charismatic. After the concert he introduced himself to me and threw his arms around me."

Well-known Newport families

She said she and Cowsill were destined to be together because they shared much in common, particularly that both come from well-known Rhode Island families with strong father figures, are highly intelligent (she earned a Ph.D. in Slavic linguistics from Brown University in 1996) and have low self-confidence.

"He had the facility in music, where I had it in language," ***** ******* said. "We're unassuming and modest, and we try to see everybody as our equals."

In 1988, her parents bought Halidon Hall, the house in Newport where the Cowsills grew up. But, ***** ******* said she never knew much about the musical family.

All that changed once she met Cowsill.

"I thought 'this is the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life,' " she said. "He's like an angel. He was like a Shaman — a prophet. He would say things and the meaning of what he said wouldn't sink in for a while."

And Cowsill apparently had an equal fondness for ***** *******.

In a letter on yellow lined paper, he wrote in blue ink — "I miss you. I miss you so much and, yea, I miss you. However, I'm holding you right now, holding your beautiful heart, your brilliant soul, that funky waft of 'Indian Bastard Soul-Smell.' Shit man. I miss the hell out of you! So bad, that I'm actually writing this friggin' letter, which tends to calm me down somewhat."

In search of help

To those who knew Cowsill, it's no secret he had alcohol and mental health problems. His brother, Bob, who appeared on the national E! News Live just after the hurricane, pleaded for help in finding Barry, who was last heard from when he left a message on their sister Susan's answering machine on Sept. 3. Bob said Barry was going to enter a rehabilitation clinic in California when Hurricane Katrina hit.

***** ******* said she, too, has what are called "psychotic episodes." During one, she said, she ran barefoot in the snow in Rhode Island to the point of near frostbite. She said Cowsill told her that 20 years earlier, during one of his psychotic episodes, he ran barefoot in a southwestern desert, burning his feet.

"He said he realized we were meant to be together — fire and ice," she laughed. "I'm reactive and he was impulsive. We both felt shame about our issues. But, people should not be afraid to reach out for help because there is help."

When ***** ******* speaks of Cowsill her eyes sparkle. "Most of what Barry liked to do was cook for me," she said. " He felt I needed to be fed. He loved to make me fried eggs for brunch. He was so particular. If he broke a yolk, he'd start over."

She said she loved that he introduced her to everybody he knew —friends on and off the island, family and even cousins.

Lovers and companions

***** ******* described her relationship with Cowsill as a physical one, yet she said they were together primarily because they needed to take care of each other. They were companions, like elderly people who get together and play cards.

"Barry always said he was a private person, but in the two years we were together he told me so much about himself," ***** ******* said. "He asked me to be kind to his memory. He knew he wasn't going to live very long."

She said Cowsill decided he wanted to make a change in his life back in June. He had a job lined up in construction with a former boss in New Orleans and a place to live.

"He said his soul was in New Orleans," said ***** *******. "But I think it was here."

When she left him at the train station in Kingston, she told him she loved him. He put his floppy straw hat on her head. She never saw him again.

"I kept calling and saying please come home and he'd say 'not yet,' " said ***** *******.

Cowsill's ashes will be spread near his favorite Copper Beech tree on the lawn of Halidon Hall, she said, and there will be a big party to celebrate sometime in the future, just as he would have wanted it.

"Barry was the love of my life," said ***** *******.

The history of the Cowsills

The Cowsills had a major impact on Newport History as well as on the American music scene. Here's a little chunk of their history;

* Billed as: The First Family of Pop

* Inspiration for: "The Partridge Family" television show

* Started: In the early 1960s, when their father, William "Bud" Cowsill, brought home guitars for his two oldest sons, Bill and Bob. Eventually, younger brothers Barry and John joined up to play bass and drums, respectively. In early 1968, sister Susan and brother Paul were added to the lineup. Mother Barbara also joined the group.

* Early gigs: The group started performing live at school dances and church socials across Newport. They eventually landed a regular gig at a downtown club and were spotted by a representative from "The Today Show." That was their "big break."

* Flopped singles: "Most of All;" "Party Girl;" "A Most Peculiar Man;" "Poor Baby;" "Path of Love;" "The Candy Kid."

* Hit singles: "The Rain, The Park and Other Things;" "We Can Fly;" "Indian Lake;" "Hair." All placed on the Billboard Top 40. "The Rain, The Park and Other Things" was a mega-hit in the fall of 1967, and eventually rose to number two on the charts, selling over a million copies.

* Notable: In 1969, the musical "Hair" became a major hit, and the Cowsills released the commercial version of the title song. They ended up scoring another number two hit.

By the time "The Partridge Family" hit television in 1970, the Cowsills' career was starting to fall apart and following the 1971 LP, "On My Shoulder," the group disbanded.

* Since then: Bill Cowsill was briefly considered to replace Brian Wilson in the Beach Boys' touring lineup. He released a solo LP, which didn't succeed.

* In the late 1970s, Bob, John, Susan and Paul recorded some new, original music, but lacked the funding to have them released.

* Jan. 31, 1985, Barbara Cowsill died of emphysema at the age of 56 in Tempe, Ariz.

* 1990s: Barry mounted a solo career, Bill founded a country group called the Blue Shadows, and Susan joined the Continental Drifters, an all-star New Orleans-via-Los Angeles combo with her husband.

* In 1994, the "core four" — Bob, John, Susan and Paul, contributed a newly-recorded Cowsills track, "Is It Any Wonder," to the "Yellow Pills — Volume One" pop compilation, and a new studio album, "Global," followed in 1998. They later hit the oldies circuit and started playing small clubs and showcases in the Los Angeles area and across the country.

* Last week, it was announced that the body of Barry Cowsill was discovered on Dec. 28 on a wharf in New Orleans. Local authorities believe the 51-year-old Barry died in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, which hit the city on Aug. 29. He had reportedly left phone messages for his sister Susan on Sept. 1, and was not heard from again.

Information courtesy of: www.classicbands.com/cowsills and home.att.net/~bubblegumusic/cowsills




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